lazy as fuck

Husband took the day off yesterday. Sent the baby to daycare, so that he could have time off. Well deserved, as he's home all summer with a one year old. Any parent in their right mind wants a few hours to themselves. You know, to shower in peace. Or actually paint their toenails. Can't tell you the last time I had that luxury. Or managed to shave my legs without a husband and / or baby banging on the door to ask me a question. Apparently neither can wipe their own ass by themselves. Baby gets a free pass because he's one. Husband is 33, so his major malfunction is either stupidity, laziness, or late onset mental handicaps.

Instead of doing anything resembling something semi-helpful to his wife, he slept. All day. Assumingly, he scratched his balls and played with his dick a little in the process too. One chore was given to him for the 8 hours of uninterrupted me time. One. And it didn't involve anything more complicated than taking laundry from the washing machine and placing it in the dryer. I don't ask for much ladies.

The sight I walked into yesterday evening at 5:30 made my blood boil. The house looked like a victim of the Japan earthquakes mixed with a side of homeless squatters. Shit. Was. Everywhere. Shoes, cups, plates, shoe insoles strewn all over the floor. Three rolls of paper towels on various tables. Bottles sitting in the sink. Pieces of his wallet contents tucked into the couch.

Baby was in his highchair attempting to eat dinner. And you know what husband was doing? Throwing the laundry from the washer into the dryer. At 5:30pm. When asked what he did all day he responded "slept... a lot. And went and met X for a few beers."

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

What made the entire situation escalate my blood pressure to boiling status was that the dryer apparently had broken sometime in the last two days. With two loads of wet shit just sitting there. Had he actually completed the one fucking request I asked of him in the morning, we could have had a repair man over within an hour and it would have been fixed. Now we're on day two of sopping wet clothes with a broken dryer and I am officially throwing around the dreaded D word in my own head because I cannot continue to handle 40+ more years of this. I am at my limit. 

He is BY FAR the laziest man I have ever know.